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Author
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Topic: Stamping out MOVE-BUM
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Lord cletusvader
Megatron
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posted 08-03-2002 01:52 AM
  
I've kept this to myself for long enough.I cannot take a crap unless I am able to wash myself immediately afterwards. Almost everyone around you is more than satisfied with a good dry wipe,but I ask you this..if you fell over and got dog shit on your skin,would you be happy to just wipe it away with some paper?
I wouldn't. Yet people are quite happy to go for a blind wipe and then walk around sweating into their undies. I call this Move Bum Sometimes I call it Mud Bum if you can smell a person from some distance. Either way,by coupling blind paper wiping with normal sweating,a stinky,muddy party dip can occur. Hence my desire to wash. It plays on my mind a lot. I tell girls about it so that they may always be clean. People who might sit in your lap could be permeating your clothing with their own chocolate sweat sauce. I have converted all I know through education and teasing. I refuse to sit where crowds stand. Wet-Ones in an emergency or away from the home base.... Always avoid Move-Bum.
sorry
sorry.
[This message has been edited by Lord cletusvader (edited 08-03-2002).]
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Twit
Megatron
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posted 08-03-2002 07:59 AM
I prefer to spread my legs and slide down a grassy slope. Each to their own.
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goaty
Megatron
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posted 08-03-2002 10:06 AM
you sick little fecaphiliacs!
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a1studmuffin
Hello Kitty!
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posted 08-03-2002 10:47 AM
I think you're being a little obsessive-compulsive there LC. If I get dog poo on me, I wash it off straight away. But your own poo, how can you shun that?! Am I the only one who, after dropping the kids off in the pool, takes one last goodbye glance, to admire my produce before pressing the full flush button? Am I the only one who waits to make sure my guys make it safely around the S-bend, and don't make a hasty retreat to the surface to see their master just one last time, before the full flush button gets pressed again?People wear underwear to stop the sweat from spreading into their clothes and onto other people (and for comfort reasons, especially for someone with such lengthy, meaty tackle as myself  ), and unless you've got someone on your lap and you're both naked, and the one on your lap has had chronic hot curry diorhhea for the past 10 hours, it's probably not going to be a problem. The only time I'd agree with you is when you're about to jump into bed with someone, then of course it can be most beneficial for all parties involved. But by doing that, you're limiting your sexual exploration a hell of a lot... how will you stink palm her after the sex?
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Vzzzbx
Megatron
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posted 08-03-2002 12:30 PM
quote:
Originally posted by a1studmuffin:
unless you've got someone on your lap and you're both naked, and the one on your lap has had chronic hot curry diorhhea for the past 10 hours
I had salmon nori roll in my mouth when I read this. The key word is had.
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Vision
Megatron
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posted 08-03-2002 03:00 PM
That's what your butt cheeks are for, to stop the excess poo getting out. 
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Prince Underpants
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posted 08-03-2002 03:19 PM
Vision, when you posted that, did you consciously choose the smiley with the tongue that goes in and out?
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Vzzzbx
Megatron
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posted 08-03-2002 03:45 PM
Turds are tapered at the end so your arse hole doesn't slam shut. It's true.
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Elvis
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posted 08-03-2002 04:03 PM
LMAO!! funniest thread this week.I had food in my mouth...HAD ahahah!!
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Lord cletusvader
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posted 08-03-2002 04:44 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Vzzzbx:
Turds are tapered at the end so your arse hole doesn't slam shut. It's true.
Gold.
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Prince Underpants
Megatron
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posted 08-03-2002 05:24 PM
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Link
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posted 08-03-2002 05:52 PM
is this guy full of shit or what?ha, that was funny.
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shadow!
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posted 08-03-2002 06:37 PM
Bwahaha!!
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Jonaskin
Megatron
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posted 08-03-2002 06:54 PM
You know what I hate? Ghost poos. You're sitting there on the bog. You can tell it's a huge one because of the pressure build up. You squeeze it out. You squeeze and squeeze. You can feel it sliding out, and can tell it's immense heaviness. You feel it snap off, plop down, and hear the touchdown, immediately followed by the accompanying splashback on your arse. This could quite possibly be the biggest poo ever, you think to yourself. You get up, and go to look in the bowl to admire your handiwork...and there's nothing there.You almost expect to see a poo moving by silently wrapped in bandages and wearing dark glasses, a trenchcoat, and a hat. ------------------
"You try so hard to reach my level of smartness don't you?" - Blitz11, AKA Rastalant, AKA Wanker. This victory strengthens the soul of Jonaskin!
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Pikachu
Optimus Prime
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posted 08-03-2002 07:29 PM
HAHAHHAHAHAH! The ghost poo!!!!!It's visiting others besides me!!!!
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Vormund
Megatron
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posted 08-03-2002 08:01 PM
bahahahaha! I get that ghost poo too sometimes.
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Vzzzbx
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posted 08-03-2002 11:49 PM
The Follow-Through.<squeeeeeze> <plop> <FAAAART>
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Link
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posted 09-03-2002 06:14 PM
You know you have done a good shit when you drop a fat bog and u don't hear it splash the water, it just smoothes gently in.Nothing can describe that feeling
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a1studmuffin
Hello Kitty!
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posted 09-03-2002 06:56 PM
Ever do the triplet turd? Once, twice, woah, hang on, there's another guy in there! And when you look down at the end, you can't even see any water, just brown landscape the entire length of the bowl....Ahhhh.... satisfaction. Usually it's an AGB for me. 
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Lord cletusvader
Megatron
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posted 09-03-2002 07:02 PM
I think you blokes have got worms
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Link
Megatron
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posted 09-03-2002 09:54 PM
Worms? I have plenty of em, they are deep in my soil, not my arse.
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MrTonyT
Megatron
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posted 10-03-2002 12:15 PM
My hate:Starting a nice shit while playing GBA and then being distracted by the game you're playing. Before you know it, 15 minutes have passed and someone else needs to use the toilet before you've even finished. Happens to me all the time.
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goaty
Megatron
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posted 10-03-2002 12:32 PM
quote:
Originally posted by goaty:
you sick little fecaphiliacs!
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Vzzzbx
Megatron
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posted 10-03-2002 02:40 PM
quote:
Originally posted by MrTonyT:
Starting a nice shit while playing GBA and then being distracted by the game you're playing. Before you know it, 15 minutes have passed
...and you develop a dirty great purple pendulous haemorrhoid. You can't stand up, you can't sit down, so you stay on the bog and play for another hour or so.
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a1studmuffin
Hello Kitty!
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posted 10-03-2002 03:43 PM
I can't say I've ever been one to spend quality time with my poo - I've always been a "get in, drop the package, then get to the chopper" kind of guy.Some of my friends spend hours in there, reading, playing on their laptop, or maybe watching themselves flex in the mirror. :-) What's the deal? Are toilets actually a secret entrance into an underground world? Or am I just retarded?
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