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Author	Topic: Stamping out MOVE-BUM
Link unregistered	posted 10-03-2002 06:12 PM not spending time with your poo. You don't know what you are missing out on IP: Logged
Mr. Bungle Megatron	posted 10-03-2002 11:16 PM after almost 17 years of taking many a shit, i've developed a rather peculiar compulsion. i cannot take a dump unless there is a layer or two of toilet paper over the miniscus of the water. it greatly reduces splash noise (perfect for public toilet cubicles) and also eradicates the possibility of the afore mentioned slpashing of the bung hole when dropping a large poo. IP: Logged
Lord cletusvader Megatron	posted 10-03-2002 11:20 PM I can't remember it being any other way. A public toilet(Hell)requires the seat to be covered in fresh toilet paper....and even then must not be touched by the bare flesh of the buttocks. The water must also be layered in fresh paper to avoid the aforementioned splashback and possible transmission of public toilet germs [This message has been edited by Lord cletusvader (edited 10-03-2002).] IP: Logged
a1studmuffin Megatron	posted 11-03-2002 12:14 AM Ahh yes, those damn microbes... quick, let's take the Spruce Moose! Get in! But sir, it's just a model. I said... get... in. Ahem. If I'm in a public place I a, definitely a fan of the toilet paper seat and water padding, but at home or at a friend's place, I'm happy just to let nature take its course and bombs away. What really pisses me off is when some bastard decides to pee with the seat down. First of all, you've got to be a hot-shot A1 pilot to have the confidence to not splash the seat at all, and second of all, anyone who TRIES this never fcking fails to coat the seat in a spattering of urine, and THIRDLY, they NEVER* clean it up! Perhaps the only other sin second to this is leaving pubes on the seat. People suck. IP: Logged
Vzzzbx Megatron	posted 11-03-2002 12:22 AM I want to know how people get shit on the seat. Don't you have to sit on it after you poo? IP: Logged
Lord cletusvader Megatron	posted 11-03-2002 12:39 AM It's got something to do with their wipe strategy.Too aggressive with the front to rear wipe,leaving the seat "Bugged" for the next person. IP: Logged
E-102 Gamma Megatron	posted 11-03-2002 01:29 AM I can't stand it when the perforations on each layer of 2-ply paper* are misaligned. ***ing hell it pisses me off. It's toilet paper for Christs sake, how hard can it be? Accept no substitutes IP: Logged
GeneSis 725 Megatron	posted 11-03-2002 01:47 AM GOLD, this is the funniest thing I heave read in YEARS! I can't believe how badly and how many times I actually Laughed Out Loud during that thread. What a bloody pissa! GOLD GOLD GOLD GOLD GOLD GOLD! IP: Logged
Jonaskin Megatron	posted 11-03-2002 10:08 AM Oh, and those toilet paper dispensers in public toilets? What kind of idiot designed those? After the horror of using a public toilet anyway, you go to wipe your arse, and the paper is jammed up inside the dispenser. The gap is maybe - just maybe - big enough for you to get a couple of fingers in to try and get the paper out. You reach up inside, scraping a bit of skin off your knuckles in the process. After fumbling around inside the dispenser, you finally manage to grab the corner of the toilet paper. Easy now...pull it slowly down towards the hole...nearly there...you get it just before the hole...slide out the first part of your fingers...and it rips off, leaving a tiny little corner of paper between your fingertips, in no way suitable for ridding your arse of excess poo. ------------------ "You try so hard to reach my level of smartness don't you?" - Blitz11, AKA Rastalant, AKA Wanker. This victory strengthens the soul of Jonaskin! IP: Logged
GeneSis 725 Megatron	posted 11-03-2002 01:12 PM Plus they use hard thin crappy paper and you have to use like 10 layers of it to get the preferred wipping... IP: Logged
Jonaskin Megatron	posted 11-03-2002 01:29 PM I agree...it's like they're trying to promote finger-through or something. ------------------ "You try so hard to reach my level of smartness don't you?" - Blitz11, AKA Rastalant, AKA Wanker. This victory strengthens the soul of Jonaskin! IP: Logged
Vision Megatron	posted 11-03-2002 01:46 PM The quote is actually: "Hop in" "But sir -" "I said, click, hop in" No one gets that right. I corrected Amy when I was last in Melbourne, and she didn't believe me until it was on two days later. IP: Logged
Pikachu Optimus Prime	posted 11-03-2002 02:36 PM She would have been really thankful too cause people love it when they are corrected. Which is good for you because you love to correct people and think that they appreciate when it happens. So I hope it works out well for you. IP: Logged
Ants in the pants Megatron	posted 11-03-2002 02:52 PM Yeah, people who correct other people's quoting, especially Simpson's quotes, are the best people. IP: Logged
Hercy Megatron	posted 11-03-2002 03:08 PM "Simpson's" doesn't have an apostrophe. IP: Logged
a1studmuffin Megatron	posted 11-03-2002 04:27 PM quote: Originally posted by Vision: The quote is actually: "Hop in" "But sir -" *"I said, click, hop in"* Ahh yes, thanks for fixing the error of my ways, Vision. You are truly the superior Simpsons fan... AS WE CAN SEE FROM YOUR BOXER SHORTS! But back to what I was going to say: I'm sick of going into a public toilet and reaching for the toilet paper dispenser, and with a gentle persuasive pull, tffft one square comes out. WHAT IS THIS? A TOILET PAPER DISPENSER... FOR ANTS?!?! I'm at least a 6-8 square man, and if I've been eating vindaloo or Lax-o-chocs, look out, I'm taking at least 20 squares. IP: Logged
Grunty Megatron	posted 11-03-2002 04:49 PM quote: Originally posted by a1studmuffin: Emptiest boxers ever. IP: Logged
mech Megatron	posted 11-03-2002 05:24 PM What do you want there? A sack of potatoes? IP: Logged
Vision Megatron	posted 11-03-2002 05:56 PM It's coiled up. IP: Logged
^Charlie^ Megatron	posted 11-03-2002 08:11 PM ROFLMAO!!! I haven't laughed this hard at a thread before. But on track, don't even get me started on mis-aligned toilet paper. I refuse to go unless all conditions are perfect. And dont even bring up 'Home-Brand' toilet paper.. AKA Sandpaper for the buttocks. <<EDIT>>> Oh, and i have to agree with Mr. Bungle on the paper on water thing.. It's a must-do. [This message has been edited by ^Charlie^ (edited 11-03-2002).] IP: Logged
Dons Megatron	posted 11-03-2002 09:09 PM Poo can be one of the most satisfying revenge plots. If you ever go to someones house that you dont like for a party or anything like that, the good ol' "Rusty McGregor" is a great way to get someone back. Simply proceed to the toliet when nobody is looking (or likely to come in right after you) completely remove your pants and underwear, sit on the toilet backwards (ie facing the buttons) and take a nice big sloppy shit that will slide right down the front of the bowl. This is hell to clean off and 90% of toilets warter spreyers start at the back and by the time it reaches the front middle it has no power to washe the sticky bits off. I hope that my little trick has given u boys some ideas. P.S. This is AAA Pool Room material! [This message has been edited by Dons (edited 11-03-2002).] IP: Logged
Dons Megatron	posted 11-03-2002 09:10 PM accidental double post. sorry! [This message has been edited by Dons (edited 11-03-2002).] IP: Logged
Rammstein Megatron	posted 11-03-2002 09:16 PM A guy that I know, has this sick fetish. He's labeled himself the "poo bandit". Why is this? Well you see, he is very weird, he gets his own poo (yes, his own) and wipes it on people front doors and sticks to it his very own business card. It read's "You've been done by the poo bandit". It's extremely sick, but hillarious when you see the people's face when they find out they've been had by the Poo bandit. IP: Logged
^Charlie^ Megatron	posted 11-03-2002 09:50 PM That's disgusting Rammstein! IP: Logged
Lord cletusvader Megatron	posted 11-03-2002 10:11 PM Things get worse. If you have a bathroom with the toilet located in the same room...remove your toothbrush,towels and hygene products from this area.If this is not possible...cover them Flushing the toilet results in an airborne microscopic mist of toilet water. This mist settles on everything including your toothbrush. All towels stored in the open should be subject to the same care. Do you want this airborne toilet water residual coming into contact with your mouth? After your shower do you want to dry off with a towel coated in toilet water. Feeling healthy? IP: Logged

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